Orcworm.co.uk

Item: Toilet Paper
Desc: Brand new
Use: Sneak up on Zombie, Wrap him, Make Mummy, 0 Profit

Item: Mouse
Desc: Semi old, black, has two buttons and can scroll with it. also on the side it has 2 buttons to go back/forward a page if you hit the button (pretty much sticky-keys on a mouse for the two back-forward arrows in the left corner of the screen)
Use: Use it to brain a zombie, as a blunt object. also used to go on the internet and find others, and buy survival equipment.

Item: Diamond sword
Desc: Fire Aspect II Sharpness V knockback II
Use: make them wish they died when they were supposed to.

Item: Paper
Desc: Written on and a bit crumpled
Use: Delivering paper cuts!

I'm so screwed XD

Item : Empty crisp packet
Desc : Contains a miniscule amount of crumbs
Use : Eat crumbs to survive and suffocate zombies. Or hide in it with great difficulty

Item: Tic-Tacs
desc: They make your breath smell like oranges
use: Give to zombies like me to make our breaths smell better. I suppose it would just be good manners before we take bites out of your cerebral cortexes.

item: subway card
desc: food
use: since they are always hungry ill get them a sub

NEW IDEA
Item: GoDjMike
Desc: Staph
Use: Provoke philosophical arguments with zombies, makes them too distracted and confused to attack.

Item: ProjectCanadian
Desc: TF2 nub
Use: Gaining over $30 in TF2 items for a small amount of Gil on the server.
[spoiler][/spoiler]

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Item: Uberblake
Desc: Was the leader of the schools band, now whenever fuego and I come in he (apparently) gets made fun of afterwards
Use: He plays shit and has people to command to play creepier shit
(true story)

Item: Chest of fully automatic weapons and some ammo
Desc: I was about to rob a bank....
Use: Kill zombies, or rob a bank

Item: A school bag.
Desc: A heavy bag filled with useless books.
Use: Roundhouse kicking the zombies then finishing them off with my heavy duty hardcore school bag.

Item: My new knife
Desc: Very sharp KA-BAR
Use: Should be obvious.

Item: A chair.
Desc: A chair.
Use: Using it as a chair against zombies.